I decided to change my elevator pitch from opening a new Jimmy Johns to something a little more personal to me. I decided to go with my career goal job where I own and operate a financial advising firm. Here is the video of my pitch:
Derek, I like that you shared something a bit more personal this time but I was almost yearning for more of an entrepreneurial aspect to this than anything. I would have liked for you to go into more detail about what will set your financial advising apart from everyone else and what kind of innovative ideas you plan to incorporate into this. This was, in my opinion, more of a personal elevator pitch than it was about a venture. In terms of what you can improve on in your pitch, I would try to focus on removing filler words from the pitch as well as using a bit more hand gestures. Overall, I think you are in the right direction! Your TA Mentor, Anna
Nicely done, Derek! I like how you put in a lot of your own thoughts into this. I thought it was really interesting how you started this venture off as a personal aspect. This is a great start to your own business and will give you motivation to see it through to the end because it's your personal goal. If you used a little more body motion, I think it would really add a great factor to your pitch! Way to go! Here's mine. http://cindyblogs4u.blogspot.com/2016/02/elevator-pitch-no-2.html
Your peer review was very genuine. I think that by talking at a slower pace and thinking about what you were saying as you were talking showed that it was more genuine, rather than just trying to spill what you can as fast as you can without choosing the right words to describe what you are offering. I love your business idea because I also love finance. I completely agree, it is important to help others put away money for when they retire beginning at a young age. You should come up with unique ideas on what you can offer the younger generation to help put away money. I don't know if you have heard of the App called Acorns but essentially it rounds up whatever you spend to the nearest whole dollar and takes the change and puts it into your investment. Such a great idea! It'd be awesome of other investment firms offered this. Great job! Here is my elevator pitch: http://niblaidoc.blogspot.com/2016/02/elevator-pitch-no-2.html
Derek,
ReplyDeleteI like that you shared something a bit more personal this time but I was almost yearning for more of an entrepreneurial aspect to this than anything. I would have liked for you to go into more detail about what will set your financial advising apart from everyone else and what kind of innovative ideas you plan to incorporate into this. This was, in my opinion, more of a personal elevator pitch than it was about a venture. In terms of what you can improve on in your pitch, I would try to focus on removing filler words from the pitch as well as using a bit more hand gestures. Overall, I think you are in the right direction!
Your TA Mentor,
Anna
Nicely done, Derek! I like how you put in a lot of your own thoughts into this. I thought it was really interesting how you started this venture off as a personal aspect. This is a great start to your own business and will give you motivation to see it through to the end because it's your personal goal. If you used a little more body motion, I think it would really add a great factor to your pitch! Way to go! Here's mine. http://cindyblogs4u.blogspot.com/2016/02/elevator-pitch-no-2.html
ReplyDeleteYour peer review was very genuine. I think that by talking at a slower pace and thinking about what you were saying as you were talking showed that it was more genuine, rather than just trying to spill what you can as fast as you can without choosing the right words to describe what you are offering. I love your business idea because I also love finance. I completely agree, it is important to help others put away money for when they retire beginning at a young age. You should come up with unique ideas on what you can offer the younger generation to help put away money. I don't know if you have heard of the App called Acorns but essentially it rounds up whatever you spend to the nearest whole dollar and takes the change and puts it into your investment. Such a great idea! It'd be awesome of other investment firms offered this. Great job! Here is my elevator pitch: http://niblaidoc.blogspot.com/2016/02/elevator-pitch-no-2.html
ReplyDelete